just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i now understand why vodka
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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