you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
