He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Too much gin, very little bucket
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
