I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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