listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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