Cold hands, warm shart.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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