Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
