More tranny stories later!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
