Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
