This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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