Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
