His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I need water and some morals
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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