He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
