it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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