So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
