Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
