I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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