Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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