It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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