The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
