just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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