if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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