You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
