So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
