there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Boobs are out for the taking
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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