no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
