I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
