foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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