Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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