Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Boobs are out for the taking
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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