remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
