from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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