I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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