Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
