Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
