I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
