in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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