with your own penis?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
