please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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