I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
