i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
