: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Me. At least after what I've been through.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
