Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
