I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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