how can u be prego again
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
