In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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