as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
