Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
