So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
