Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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