went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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