didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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